I recall being at a Petra concert years ago with our then teenage kids. On that night not a single person stayed in their seats, the music and the message was moving and contagious. It was a simple message, but it was based on truth and it was powerfully presented. Everyone joined in singing, “Walk By Faith Not By Sight.”
Through the years those words have stayed with me! But recently, and as God often has a way of doing, He put a new twist to those words in scripture by making them very personal.
He applied them directly to what was happening in my life because what was occurring was completely out of my control. I guess you could say my sight was taken away. Faith was what I had left. I was forced to walk through an open door with blinders on and I had no idea what was on the other side.
A few years back, while showing houses to my clients, I ended up in the hospital. The long and short of it; I had nodules in my lungs. The inflammation was throughout and unidentified mold was growing in my lungs. They didn’t give us any hope that it would get better. The solution was to try to contain the growth. We went home and did the things we were advised to do in an effort to control our environment. That meant we sold our house and land to move to a smaller home, I wore a mask when we went outside, we kept an emergency inhaler with us at all times, and we replaced carpet with hardwood in our new home. And finally, I had to give up my job as a Real Estate Agent.
Now I have to say, I truly enjoyed my job. I especially loved finding my clients “their” home. Listening and getting to know “them” was part of that opportunity. It helped me understand what it would take to meet their needs. So to have to walk away from a career that I so enjoyed, was also walking away from that piece of my identity. However, as is the case with many people who face challenges in life, we trusted and we adjusted, and we began living our new normal.
I must be honest, there were days when faith meant the Lord was doing most of the lifting. Especially, in the beginning when all of this was new, when very little air came through my lungs and I wasn’t sure the next breath was going to be there. A mustard seed of faith is all I had, but it grew. The Lord held my hand as my hubby would break up the inflammation by pounding on my back. Late night wake-up calls to get the emergency inhaler, or to do nebulizer treatments, became the new norm … what memories! Never could we have predicted this when we said “I do” but we made it: The three of us!
Little by little I noticed more air hitting the back of my lungs. At first I thought I was imagining it. Every morning I woke up to see if I could breath-in, breath-out. It continued. I mentioned it to the Pulmonologist and a cat scan was ordered. The scan showed nothing had changed, but the good news was…nothing had grown either. They would wait 6 months and repeat it again. The seeds of faith continued to grow. I had more energy, and I was sleeping better. My hubby noticed it too. We were taking two steps forward, one step back, but progress was being made. It was now time for the next cat scan.
“All clear!” the Doctor said. His words summarized what I had already read on the report confirming the nodules in my lungs had stopped growing and no others had appeared. He finished, “We won’t need to repeat another cat scan for a year since this one came back with no change.” Somehow hearing it from him confirmed what I already knew had been happening, I could breathe again. Air was moving deep in my lungs, and the threat was contained. It was time to celebrate what the Lord had done. Time to step back through the once closed door that He had re-opened, and to once again, Walk by Faith not by Sight.